Little spoons don't ask big questions
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
