Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
