Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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