I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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