That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize