Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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