if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
