Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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