one two three fourrrrnication!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
