She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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