My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
