do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
