you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
