In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
