Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
