its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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