how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize