Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
