Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
