Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
