He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
