mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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