I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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