Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
