You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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