i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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