You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
