I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
