That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
