google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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