ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
