its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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