Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
