Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
