it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
