dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Shame - the story of my life.
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