I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
