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We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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