I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
