just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
