I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
