Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
