I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
