she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
