At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
