Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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