Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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