Me. At least after what I've been through.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
