after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
