Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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