Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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