If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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