Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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