dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
