i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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