He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
