New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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