i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
