dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize