Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize