You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
