so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
