Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You smell like stripper and shame
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize