OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
