I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
