I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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