So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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