so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
