yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
