i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
