You're my little dorito
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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