i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
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