if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
